First Workout

So tonight after work I headed for the gym for the first time. I had to stop along the way at Walgreen's to get a padlock because, like a fool, I left mine sitting on the kitchen counter.

I arrived at the gym about 4:45 and flashed my little card to the person behind the counter. He said "please stand in front of the register and we'll take your picture". I replied "It took me 15 years to get it out of the post office why do I want one here"? He laughed and said" this way when you flash you badge it brings up you picture and we know it's you". Well hell, what could I say? So I stood there as he took my picture and headed off to the locker room.

I sat down in front of my locker, looked up and saw a sign that said "no jeans", and I'm like darn I only brought a tee shirt. So I went back to the desk and asked about the policy and he said that since I was only doing the treadmill it would be fine. Back to the locker room I go, change shirts and head for the back row of treadmills. It was at that point I discovered I left my glasses in my locker and couldn't even read how to start the damn machine. Again, I was back to the locker room, grabbed my glasses and was ready to go.

Now most that know me will tell you I do nothing half way. I give everything I've got whether it's work, play, building something, riding my motorcycle or falling in love. Moderation has never been my strong suit. I have been blessed with a modicum of common sense which usually will keep me out of trouble but even that gets lost at times.

I standing on the machine and looking at what the others are doing. Some are running, some are walking, and I decide that perhaps the best thing I can do is set a goal for a mile at a slower speed and see how I do. I haven't worked out intentionally in forever, and since I forgot to call my doctor and ask her if I can bend at the waist, moderation seemed to be what common sense was saying. So I started and immediately beefed up the incline and the speed. I figured if I could just get my heart rate up around 130 I'd be good. After about 20 minutes I hit my mile and thought ' I fell pretty good let's see how much you can do for a full hour". I dropped the incline but kept the speed up and looked around at the TV's and the people.

Now I love to people watch! To me that is the most fascinating thing in the world but I have also learned that in this day and age you need to be discreet. people get nervous if they think you are watching them. I noticed this pretty Asian girl that was no bigger than a minute and she seemed to be trying to get this one guys attention because she kept moving form machine to machine in front of him. Then there was a guy a little older than me running 100th marathon on the machine about 5 down from mine. Then I checked out this black woman that was hitting it hard over on the crunch machine. And then I saw him......gym rat guy!

I knew he was here somewhere. You know gym rat guy. 50ish, 5'4" with a 62" chest and 25" waist, wearing his skin tight briefs, wife beater, and multi-colored sweat band. When he moves through the gym he doesn't walk he struts and ironically instead of checking out every woman in the place he's sizing himself up against each young stud working it on the weight machines. I was pretty sure this was all about self validation. You could see his brain working as he looked. My pecs are more symmetrical than his, my lats are better than his, you call those gluts? Ha!

Now I love this guy and I was so glad that he was there because he became my instant role model for who I am not trying to be. Besides I learned a long time that when given the choice you pecs or lats or biceps aren't the muscle you want to master control of, if you want your woman to be happy. You have no idea how much I wanted to pass this valuable information along to this guy, but I didn't. I figured he already knows which is why he's over compensating. If I ever become a tool like that, please, someone put me out of my misery.

Anyway my hour was about up when I looked down and saw that I had gone 2.5 miles which I thought was pretty good for a one-eyed fat man. After the machine did the cool down cycle it finally stopped and when I stepped off I felt like I was on a ship. I walked over to the supply rack grabbed the paper towel and spray cleaner and cleaned off my machine. A bit of gym etiquette that I observed while people watching.

Now I home, feeling pretty good, and thinking about dinner. This wasn't half bad but then again, ask me tomorrow and see what I say!